No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
