dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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