Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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