last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
