I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
