so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize