if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
