you mean i was at the winter classic?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize