If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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