I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
