There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
