its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
