It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
