So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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