Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
