I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
