Porn is love you can see.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
