i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
