They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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