i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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