Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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