You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
