awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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