You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
then he tried to convert me to islam
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
