Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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