hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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