Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
