He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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