Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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