I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
