You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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