I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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