this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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