On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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