She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
