Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
