dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
