He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
