when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
