loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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