the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
