You're my little dorito
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
