Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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