FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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