remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my sisters under your porch take her home
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How naked do you want me to be?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
