Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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