Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
