So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
