I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
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