awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
