I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Floor bacon is actually really good
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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