Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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