boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize