and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
