I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
