he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
