You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
