sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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