Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
