K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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