WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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